Thursday, February 19, 2009

"NO MOMMY! NO!"

Last night Sophia and I went out to dinner with Grandma, and then to a meeting with some friends, and my little angel was more like a little brat for the whole evening.  She didn't want to sit down at dinner, she didn't want to eat her food, she did want to go sit with grandma while she was eating. She didn't want to play quietly with her friends, she didn't want to share the toys. She did want to scream and fuss and she did want to stand on the table.

Have you had days like this? Where even when the situation changes, she just seems to be in a mood. I felt like even if I was giving her everything she wanted she would fuss about something. This isn't a situation where she would normally fuss, she likes to eat and she likes going out and seeing people. It was definitely her mood, and that I think tries my patience more than when she is frustrated and fussy. 

So how do you handle it? I have no idea what the best answer is, here is what I tried, and failed with. I had read in the parenting books that if a child throws a tantrum you should take them out of the situation. ie you can't behave at the store then we will leave the store. So I asked Sophia if she wanted to go home since she didn't want to behave where we were, and she said "NO MOMMY! NO!" and then acted like the lovely girl I know she is for all of about one minute.  We did this about ten times, and had very little success everytime. I tried giving her a time out for not sharing, or not listening, and she took her time out, said she was sorry, and went back to play and immediately fussed about sharing or whatever again.  I didn't know what else to do. Finally I took her home, and she screamed about getting in the car seat she fussed and squirmed and was totally put off when despite all her efforts she was properly buckled in. And then instantly she got quiet. I ihave no idea why but she just stopped fussing. By the time we got home she was subdued and maybe half asleep, we went through our normal bedtime routine and she went to bed just like an angel. 

So there I was last night, at about nine thirty looking through my parenting books and trying to figure out what I should have done while we were out and what made her calm down and behave when we got home. Was she just tired of fighting? Did her mood end in that fussy screaming hating the carseat stuff? She just got it all out of her system? I don't know, the books don't know, most likely Sophia doesn't know, this morning everything was good, we had breakfast, got dressed, brushed our teeth, and hair, and took our vitamins, and went to school without any fussing or complaints. Sometimes we want to play in the morning but usually we are pretty good first thing. 

6 comments:

Heidi said...

my 2 cents, for whatever it's worth. she was overstimulated last night. (not that she can't ever be in that type of situation, I am sure she usually does fine. But sometimes it's just too much for them. My son gets like that and then when we get in a calm place he immediately calms down.) But what the heck do I know, my children are crazy. Thanks for reading my blog, I promise to come back to see you often.

Sully said...

After the first time you said "do you want to go home" and before you said it again, you should have taken her home.

Hard I know. She would have screamed and acted HORRIBLY for you for a little bit, but next time she would have acted right (maybe-lol).

Kristy Michelle said...

Thanks so much for checking out Old Soul New Distractions and leading me to YOUR blog which is delightfully funny. You too have knack for this! I'm looking forward to more posts. And your kiddo is precious!

Disordered Mom said...

I know! You guys are so right. I should have followed the advice I had already read and just taken her home. BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO GO HOME! I guess I am going to have to grow up more in order to help her grow up better. Ah! parenting is so hard. Don't forget that I love it and find it totally fulfilling too.

Shelly said...

What I do in this situation is give them a warning, "If you don't stop we are going to sit in the car for 5 min." then you need to follow through, or they will just keep playing you and testing their boundaries. I have 3 and this works for me usually.

Cara said...

Sounds like she is just being a two-year-old. My daughter is the same way, depends on the day. There's not much you can do but model good behaviour and calmness for them.

BTW, you're using my photo of the ice cube tray on your blog. I'm glad you like the idea, and it does work well, but I would appreciate a link back to my blog.